The Weasel's Album

[idoladdict]

Since Corey Clark caused so much controvery during American Idol this season in his lame attempts to promote his debut album I thought I'd post a review of it for you all to read:

Review by Stephen Thomas Erlewine

Who's that smooth criminal hanging out by the Kodak Theatre? Why, it's Corey Clark. Who's Corey Clark, you ask? Why, he's the American Idol finalist who was kicked off the show in its second season. Why was he booted from the show? Well, a few months before he appeared on the show in 2003 he was arrested for assaulting his teenage sister and for resisting arrest. That was enough to get him banished from the show, since it didn't quite fit AmIdol's clean, wholesome image. What has Clark been doing since that humiliation? According to his official website, coreyclark.com: "Since his unforgettable and show stopping performances on the most widely viewed second season" — sorry to interrupt, but that begs the question of what was the least-viewed second season? — "of Foxs [sic] mega-hit 'American Idol,' Clark has devoted all of his time to diligently writing and perfecting the material for this project." What project is that? Why, it's his debut album, Corey Clark. If you follow pop culture in 2005 — and don't be ashamed if you don't — you might have heard about this album, since Clark decided to promote it with an appearance on ABC's Primetime Live, an ideal spot to launch a major project (ask Brad Pitt, who appeared on the show to promote Mr. & Mrs. Smith). So why would a major network have a struggling new artist on its big news show? Well, it wasn't out of the goodness of the network's @#%$ — it was because Clark used the program to reveal he had an affair with American Idol judge Paula Abdul, who not only allegedly slept with the young singer, but gave him advice on how to get further in the competition. (Sample: fellow AmIdol judge Randy Jackson performed with Journey and their lead singer Steve Perry, so sing Perry's "Foolish @#%$"! Of course, any enterprising prospective AmIdol contestant could figure this out by doing a quick search on the Internet, but Paula's @#%$ was in the right place, and she probably could figure out that a soul as young and restless as Corey wouldn't have the patience to find this out on his own.) Primetime Live thought that Clark's revelation would lead to big ratings, and they were right: it drew more viewers than Pat O'Brien's similar confession that he had a weak spot for cocaine and whores. Clark thought that it would help launch the project he had been working so diligently on, but he was wrong: the program made him a laughing stock. Not because his story seemed wrong or implausible — frankly, the accompanying phone records sure make it seem like he and Paula had a fling — but because he came across like a sleazy little weasel. So, even if he was right, he garnered no sympathy from the viewing audience, who pretty much laughed him off, right around the time that he unveiled his song about his AmIdol ordeal: "Paulatics." This gloriously titled recounting of the affair, bewilderingly told in third person, is the centerpiece of this cheaply produced, overlong album, and it's the only moment that is either as funny as his Primetime Live appearance or the heavily retouched photos of Clark wandering Hollywood Boulevard plastered throughout the liner notes. Well, that's not entirely true — the repeated murmurings of "Corey Clark" on about half of the album's songs are pretty funny, and so is "Look What You've Done," where he tries to seduce Beyoncé by telling her how he used to have her pictures and videos all over his room, and it's also pretty amusing to hear how both the Scott Storch-produced single "Out of Control" and "Yes I Can" anemically rip off Usher's "Yeah!" Apart from that, Corey Clark is a pathetic attempt to merge Michael Jackson's Dangerous with Backstreet Boys boy-band tunes and Usher-styled contemporary R&B. The songwriting either blatantly steals from other hits or is blandly formulaic, while the production sounds as if it were recorded on second-hand Casios and hand-me-down Pro Tools. But worst of all is Clark himself, who reveals that he's a whiny, simpering, skeevy singer without the presence of Scott Savol, let alone Mario Vasquez. He's as unappetizing a singer as can be imagined, and his debut album is as cheap and flimsy as he deserves. If he had been on American Idol any longer than a couple of weeks, this album might have been a silly artifact the way William Hung's album is, but since he was just a one-week Internet gossip phenomenon in both 2003 and 2005, Corey Clark doesn't even have the resonance of Inspiration: ultimately, it's just a truly lousy record.


I went to Corey's site-which with a quick Google search you all can find for yourself-so I could hear his single for myself, just to see if it was really that bad and dear Lord it is.So you all don't have to suffer through listening to it to know what it sounds like, just imagine an "R&B" version of Britney Spears on helium who sings songs that sound like they were written by Usher or TLC after a wild night of drinking.

[de_milo]

Why is the word "heart" censored in that article? Very peculiar.

[Reba Grouette]

de_ milo you have one fan

[de_milo]

Originally posted by Reba Grouette
de_ milo you have one fan

Well, actually I have three. But since I started off at minus three, I'm now at zero.

[nickster]

Originally posted by de_milo
Well, actually I have three. But since I started off at minus three, I'm now at zero.

I'll fan you.

[Peg099]

Originally posted by nickster
I'll fan you.

Do you really think fanning is required with the weather we've been having?

[nickster]

Originally posted by Peg099
Do you really think fanning is required with the weather we've been having?

I'm thinking of her weather....much hotter.

[Peg099]

Is it really that much hotter there now? I thought it was cool for a ways...

[idoladdict]

Originally posted by de_milo
Why is the word "heart" censored in that article? Very peculiar.

I copied the article from somewhere that is quite peculiar and the word heart is censored by accident.

[Autumn]

The Weasel?! What a clever name! The person who wrote that review is a real genius! He must be so proud of himself for coming up with that! Well he's just expressing his own extremely petty opinion. But there are actually a lot of people whose opinions differ from his.

There are some VERY favourable reviews of Corey Clark's album. Some were even written by people who disliked Corey and WERE PLEASANTLY SURPRISED when they heard his CD!

It's time for people to get over the stupid controversy about Paula and Corey. Unless you were there yourself, you will never know exactly what happened behind the scenes at AI2. None of us can say for certain what happened. So it's time to let the subject go. You don't have to become a fan of Corey's -- just forget about the alleged affair.

I'm a fan of Corey's. I don't necessarily agree with him blabbing about the affair, whether it happened or not, but I'm still a fan.

People who continue to bash Corey are: narrow-minded, judgmental, petty, mean, nasty, opinionated, unforgiving, jealous (in some cases), and have a holier-than-thou attitude (they're so quick to condemn and criticize Corey, but act as if they're perfect and have never done anything bad in their lives).

It's sad and pathetic that some people are unwilling to believe that Corey Clark is a human being who has some very good qualities. Yes he has faults. But so do YOU. He's done some bad things and made mistakes in his life. But he's only 24 years old, and still has a lot of learning to do. No one is perfect. PLEASE GIVE THE GUY A BREAK. People who continue to bash him just make themselves look foolish. Don't they have anything better to do with their time?

I've chatted online with Corey. I've chatted with nice, intelligent people who know him personally. Of course he has flaws, but he also has good qualities. He's nice-looking, bright, charming, funny, kind and considerate. He loves his family and fans. He's a good singer and songwriter. He has LOTS of charisma and stage presence. Some AI2 finalists are still friendly and supportive towards Corey, most notably Rickey Smith and Trenyce. (Former finalists Julia Demato and Vanessa Olivarez have also made statements about AI which seemed to verify Corey's allegations. However it's time to forget the controversy and move on).

You don't have to like Corey or listen to his music. JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE. If you can't say anything nice about Corey, don't say anything at all.

[Autumn]

Although there are some negative reviews of Corey's CD, there are also dozens of positive reviews. I'd like to post a few of the good ones, but it would just provoke the Corey haters, so I won't post them. I'll just mention that out of a possible 5 stars, most people give the CD at least 3 stars. There are quite a few 5 star ratings too.

I hereby promise not to post anything more in this thread about Corey. However, in return, I ask that people who hate Corey don't post anything else about him either. Thank you.

Peace

Autumn