Farley Flex isn't flexible about bullying

[laurhain]

Canadian Idol judge brings anti-bullying message to students at area high schools

THANA DHARMARAJAH

ERIN (Nov 23, 2006)

Some forgot the lyrics. Others choked on the high notes or sounded airy over the microphone.

In the presence of Canadian Idol judge Farley Flex, Erin District High School students took turns yesterday belting out popular tunes by Evanescence and Hilary Duff. One of those auditioning kept her eyes closed throughout her performance, and a handful wowed the audience once their nervous giggles subsided.

But it wasn't an audition for the reality show that seeks out Canada's next talented young singer.

Instead, Flex -- one of three judges on Canadian Idol -- attended Centre Wellington District High School in Fergus and Erin District High School yesterday as part of National No Bullying Week.

He was at schools in Palmerston and Mount Forest on Tuesday.

At the end of Flex's speech on self discovery, he requested talented performers to come on stage and show off their skills.

"It was really exhilarating," said a flushed 15-year-old Charlotte Stitt. Only moments before, she had stared out at a sea of faces, nervous and clueless about which song to sing.

After several students shouted out requests from the audience, Stitt sang Hilary Duff's "Someone's Watching Over Me" and received a deafening ovation.

Many of the students who took the stage had expressions of amazement as they clambered offstage. The confidence they exuded in the spotlight is what Flex spent an hour encouraging them to attain as they head through life, so they can develop a sense of self.

At the age of 15, Flex and his friend initiated the first city-wide break-dancing competition in Toronto and brought out nearly 1,500 people to a roller-skating rink in Scarborough, he told the Erin students.

He took his share of about $4,000, stuffed in a duffel bag, to deposit in the bank the following weekday and the teller asked him where he got the money.

Flex said he was aware people would think that as a young black man, he had obtained the money through illicit activity, but he had the confidence and the self-esteem to lift up his chin and tell the teller about his business.

"If you allow these things to define you, then you lose your identity and then you just become teenagers," Flex said.

Organizing the break-dancing competition was just the beginning for Flex, who went on to the University of South Florida to get a finance degree.

While at university, he started his own security company working along with campus security to staff dances, fraternity parties and concerts.

His exposure to the concert environment led him to become a concert promoter and artist manager several years later in Toronto where he managed one of the most successful solo rap artist, Maestro.

Flex told students he understood himself and his motivations at an early age, and knowing yourself is key so one isn't a prey to bullies.

Bullies have a deficiency in their persona so they try to make others feel weak, he said.

"If you can't define yourself, then people will define you. If you have an empty mind, people will fill it for you."

Flex said empty minds are what lead those who are easily influenced by drugs and alcohol.

Small minds talk about people, average minds talk about events and great minds talk about ideas, he said.

If you constantly have productive ideas to further yourself, it's hard for bullies who are lazy to negatively influence you, Flex said.

Zach Haire, 14, said he wished he had a stronger sense of self at the age of nine, when his classmates began bullying him because of his weight.

"You stuck out a lot as a heavy child," he said. "You got picked on a lot."

He endured two years of taunts and name-calling before he switched schools. Haire said he became depressed; going to school became intolerable.

"It was like dragging yourself. I was counting the minutes until the day was over."

Haire said Flex's words would have come in handy back then, but now he believes he's closer to realizing his potential and has established solid friendships.

"I don't try to fit in. I am Zach and if you don't like Zach, you don't hang out with Zach."

[NLgirl]

Farley is quite a guy, I am not surprised however, I would expect no less from him.

[bunks]

Yes he's great isn't he; a real example of someone giving back of his talents and motivating other people.

[Wolfman]

Farley seems like such a mild mannered guy. His take on bullying is interesting.

[tanzanite]

Originally posted by Wolfman
Farley seems like such a mild mannered guy. His take on bullying is interesting.

looks can be deceiving, maybe farley likes to dress in a tutu and go to underground fight clubs.

[faranya]

It's good to read such an upbeat, positive article. Thanks for posting it, Laurhain.

[_kristyn_]

great to hear!